Politeness in conversation ~ The Linguistics Zone

Friday, July 20, 2007

Politeness in conversation

One useful property of indirect speech is that it can convey politeness.

Consider these two statements:

A: "Can you please shut the window?"
B: "Shut the window now!"

Statement A is obviously more polite than statement B. However, B is more direct and to the point. It would seem quite rude to phrase it as such, so we resort to the more polite indirect way (A). Even though statement A is asking a Yes/No question, it is actually a request to perform an action.

Types of politeness

There are two basic kinds of politeness: positive and negative politeness.

Positive politeness: respects a person's right to be understood, showing sympathy

  • Letting people know that we enjoy their presence
  • Liking their personality
  • Becoming interested in their well-being
Example: "Let's get together again sometime!"

Negative politeness:
often involves deferring to others and respects their privacy
  • Avoid intruding on other people's lives
  • Don't be overly inquisitive about their activities
  • Don't impose our presence on others
Example: "Excuse me sir, do you have the time?"

276 comments:

dan - marquee store said...

I find politness can be understated. Sometimes the most polite friend is the one who sits, doesnt say a word and just listens.

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yes i agree with dan about politeness sometimes it can be underestimated.

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intresting, would not have thought about it that way myself.

Childrens Behavior Problems said...

I appreciate you for throwing light on this point.And I do agree that there is a great difference in both statements.Well,according to me we should use statement A in our lives.

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Using "please", "excuse me" type of words give more polite sound. But, it also can turn into not so polite by the way we sound it. The harshness in voice or stressing certain words can be rude too.

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B: "Shut the window now!"
This one sounds more understandable for my colleges))))))))

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Your Mortgage said...

Thank you.

I read it fully and will apply it in my personal life. While reading this, I realized that I may fall into negative politeness category sometimes. It's not good.

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Hawaii condos said...

I agree with you, Indirect speech can convey politeness, but i think mostly it depends on the situation too. Like sometimes we do the things unintentionally without even thinking that it can be in a negative politeness way.

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Chanhassen real estate said...

Well I think politeness is a value that needs to be learned and which comes with the virtue of respect. If you don't have these virtues, You can't handle it even using indirect speech since it's not the way or it's not the normal way of how you speak. So learn these values and virtues first before considering learning indirect speech. Thanks a lot for this wonderful post!

Samsung B7320 OmniaPRO said...

yes i agree with dan about politeness sometimes it can be underestimated.

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I appreciate you for throwing light on this point.And I do agree that there is a great difference in both statements.Well,according to me we should use statement A in our lives.

Peter Holiday said...

The problem is that some people won't understand anything unless you raise your voice.

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That is all about tactics and psychology.Nice diplomacy in fact!

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I'm english and we value politness. I remember a French girl at college thinking we were over polite, but by the end of the course she decided it was nice

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Sociologists Penelope Brown and Stephen Levinson identified two kinds of politeness, deriving from Erving Goffman's concept of face:

Negative politeness: Making a request less infringing, for example if you do not mind ... or if it is not too much trouble ..., respects the right of a person to act freely. Means deference. There is a greater use of indirect speech.
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